A New Low premiered at The Haunt in Ithaca, NY ten years ago today. Millions gathered at Thorne Street Park in Horseheads to observe the anniversary and join in prayer. The decennial celebration culminated with a massive fireworks show honoring the cast and crew, who were on hand and charging only $25 per autograph. Happy anniversary, fellas! Here’s to the next ten years of A NEW LOW!

Son of a Bitch: Part II

A night of home improvement and repair is interrupted by home invasion and despair in this thrilling sequel to cult hit, Son of a Bitch.

Green Day ‘Crave’ a Little Sex, Drugs and Violence


Green Day recently held a contest challenging their fans to create a short film inspired by one of the 37 songs off of their trilogy of new albums ¡Uno!, ¡Dos!, and ¡Tré!. Our Son of a Bitch: Part III prototype, Sex, Drugs and Violence, was voted 19th (out of 223) by the fans and then, two weeks later, the band closed out the contest by picking their five favorites. They picked ours, of course (don’t mistake the tone of this sentence as one of arrogance, ok? Let’s just be real for a moment: we had a sock monkey violently slaughtering hot babes and douche bags at a summer camp in the 1980’s–honestly, how can anyone compete with that??) and right now our short is being showcased on their website.

In the tradition of green celebrities misspelling my name while briefly sharing a sliver of their spotlight with me (my camera credit on Tom Green’s Prepare For Impact DVD is “Eric Thomas Graben“), I’m mentioned not once, but twice on the main page of as “Eric Thomas Crave.”


It was an honor being able to entertain Green Day for 3 1/2 minutes, considering they’ve been entertaining me for the past 19 years. I’d like to thank them for picking our short and sharing their massive audience with us. So, Billie Joe Armstron, Mike Dirn and Tré Coo…thanks, dudes!

Thanks for Voting!

The polls are closed. We ended up in 19th place out of 223. Now the band combs through the top videos and chooses a winner.

To all of our voters: THANK YOU.

To all of the people who spread the word or shared a link: A REALLY BIG THANK YOU.

To those of you who annoyed all of your friends, family and coworkers by texting, calling, tweeting, sending out private messages and backing them into a corner: A REALLY REALLY BIG THANK YOU.

To those who couldn’t vote due to technical difficulties: your vote was there in spirit and I certainly THANK YOU for your efforts.

To those of you who were going to vote until you got paranoid because “the video site wanted all of my personal information”: it’s 2013, is this really the first time you’ve ever seen that COMMON Facebook login disclaimer that’s there for your convenience?? Furthermore, if you’re fearful of your personal information being misused, why the hell did you ever sign up for FACEBOOK in the first place?

To those of you who couldn’t be bothered to vote: your crotch is going to rot completely off from a severe case of syphilis found only in the lamest and/or laziest of human beings. I hope it’s painful.

Thanks again for putting up with my ’round the clock social network “spamming” and nagging texts. Wish us luck in the next round!


Well, our gross video with incredible boobs NEEDS your votes. Less than 16 hours to go! Help us out, VOTE HERE!*

*UPDATE: the polls are closed.

IMPORTANT Public Service Announcement!

This has absolutely NOTHING to do with voting for our new short film (*)

*UPDATE: the polls are closed.

Diaper-Rash of the Titans: Tom Green’s Endorsement of A New Low

Sure, we’re a little late on this…but a big thanks to Tom Green for the shout-out he gave A New Low on his Prepare For Impact DVD a while back.

Tom, let’s listen to rap music and go skateboarding sometime soon.

Everyone else, lace up your fanny packs, grab a fistful of lukewarm cottage cheese n’ head on over to!

Major Label De Pew


You know you’ve made it when the art you’ve passionately poured your heart and soul into is given away with toilet products. That same goal has driven A New Low for years. Thank you, Jo Dee Messina, for paving the way…

Planet of Time

It was made in a different time, the future (2034 to be exact), when the Crew of Space Assault 203 led by Lieutenant Kenyan, Lazer and lovable Horse Chalmers went on a fantastic voyage through galaxies and TIME. The film I’m referring to was introduced in 2004 and won over audiences young and old by showing them a glimpse of the distant future. For the first time in internet science fiction format, I bring you Planet of Time.

John Holden