The Colonel’s Corner (Episode 2: Hammer)

Filmed almost two years ago and thought to have perished in an unfortunate manure-truck pileup en route to A New Low Studios, The Colonel’s Corner (Episode 2: Hammer) was thought by many to be an irreplaceable treasure that would never grace the retinas of the seven pathetic dipshits that regularly check for new videos.

Coincidentally, the footage has now been placed into the sweaty hands of our filthy rotten “men upstairs” thanks to the unintentional efforts of local manure importer/oats exporter, Emmett Dobson, who found the lost episode in the mouth of one of the goats grazing upon his farmland out on ol’ County Route 6.

“Dang goat had a movie in ‘is mouf!” said Dobson, of his discovery.

The goat declined to comment.

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

This past Monday, I was an extra in an episode of Wainy Days. The following micro-sized journal entries from my adventure were originally posted on Twitter. So, kick back, lube up your ring finger and stimulate your inner asshole to this enchanting tale of friendship, love, betrayal and abusive sexual conquest…

March 9th

12:44 am
Driving solo to NYC. GPS says arrival time is 3:54am. Then 1 hour of sleep before a 1 hour commute & an all day shoot. Switch rad.

1:41 am
1st fast food in years. Double quarter pounder from a truckstop MickyD’s. Saving my stockpile of organic PB sammichz for NYC. Savin’ that $.

2:18 am
Restaurant review: highway McDonalds. DBL QTR CHEESE was a l’il greasy. Guilt lingering. No napkins…but thanks for the free coffee, baby.

3:03 am
Just entered Dirty Jerz. That dirty burg from MickyD’s ain’t sittin’ too purty in my belly. I wanna barf. Another hour of driving to go…

3:49 am
The men & women of Rockaway can suck the piss out of my dick for those false “24 hour gas station” signs they have up on I-80 East.

4:04 am
My arrival time is now four twenty fucking nine A.M…BUT, a male gas station attendent just called me “hun”…that’s what I call service!

4:24 am
Can one Twitter in the Holland Tunnel?

4:27 am
…yes, Apparently one can.

5:08 am
Arrived at destination. Time for my shitty nap.

8:07 am
Fuck that one hour commute…I’m takin’ a cab.

8:41 am
Called for my cab at 8:06…”be there in 4 mins”…only took him 32! I stepped in dog shit & it’s officially all over the back of his seat.

9:26 am
In the “camoflauge couch room” aka: the “extras lounge.” Mr. Wain said he was bringing coffee…now where the fuck is it!?

2:12 pm
Lack of sleep is catching up to me. Yawns are exploding from every orifice. Nothing like a big wardrobe change to fix that…

2:26 pm
Not enough time for a wardrobe change. Got only 60% of my hair & makeup done…but I’m still gnarrin’ it harder than these other dopes.

4:07 pm
If David Wain offers you the rest of his fajita…you take it. If his used fork is still sticking out of it…you use it.

7:05 pm
That’s a wrap on Wainy Days episode 30!

7:31 pm
Brooklyn buses smell like piss.

8:00 pm
I accidentally used an extra 50 cents boarding this bus. It’s my way of saying “thanks for not wiping the blood off this bar I’m touching.”

10:35 pm
Coffee mission. Then I’m blowing this Hep B infested pop stand!

March 10th

12:45 am
iTunes just released the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album (a month early)…a fine way to cap off a NYC trip. Highway iPhone fantasitca.

1:33 am
I am the ONLY car on I-380 North (and South, for that matter). Where is everyone? Did Ohio launch a nuclear attack on Pennsylvania?

4:19 am.
Home sweet Horseheads. 29+ hours of madness with only 2 short naps…time to hibernate. Keep your eyes peeled for Wainy Days #30!

Behind the scenes of Wainy Days episodes 30 & 31.

Behind the scenes of Wainy Days episodes 30 & 31.

Lock, Pog and A Few Smoking Barrels

Here’s a short presentation that Taem Jones, J.Ho, Yetti and I threw together in the summer of 2005 while shooting A New Low 2. It explores the dangerous underworld of Pog, a vicious sport banned from the United States since the late 90s. Warning: this dramatization of actual recorded events is not for the faint of heart…

Animation Theatre

The fifth episode of our podcast went live early this morning. It took awhile for this one to come out…but, as promised, it’s ALL NEW material!

Animation Theatre is a clip from the new movie, and it’s preceded by a (podcast exclusive) ‘behind-the-scenes’ account of just what it took to get this episode in the hands of the public.



– similar articles…