Green Day ‘Crave’ a Little Sex, Drugs and Violence


Green Day recently held a contest challenging their fans to create a short film inspired by one of the 37 songs off of their trilogy of new albums ¡Uno!, ¡Dos!, and ¡Tré!. Our Son of a Bitch: Part III prototype, Sex, Drugs and Violence, was voted 19th (out of 223) by the fans and then, two weeks later, the band closed out the contest by picking their five favorites. They picked ours, of course (don’t mistake the tone of this sentence as one of arrogance, ok? Let’s just be real for a moment: we had a sock monkey violently slaughtering hot babes and douche bags at a summer camp in the 1980’s–honestly, how can anyone compete with that??) and right now our short is being showcased on their website.

In the tradition of green celebrities misspelling my name while briefly sharing a sliver of their spotlight with me (my camera credit on Tom Green’s Prepare For Impact DVD is “Eric Thomas Graben“), I’m mentioned not once, but twice on the main page of as “Eric Thomas Crave.”


It was an honor being able to entertain Green Day for 3 1/2 minutes, considering they’ve been entertaining me for the past 19 years. I’d like to thank them for picking our short and sharing their massive audience with us. So, Billie Joe Armstron, Mike Dirn and Tré Coo…thanks, dudes!

Thanks for Voting!

The polls are closed. We ended up in 19th place out of 223. Now the band combs through the top videos and chooses a winner.

To all of our voters: THANK YOU.

To all of the people who spread the word or shared a link: A REALLY BIG THANK YOU.

To those of you who annoyed all of your friends, family and coworkers by texting, calling, tweeting, sending out private messages and backing them into a corner: A REALLY REALLY BIG THANK YOU.

To those who couldn’t vote due to technical difficulties: your vote was there in spirit and I certainly THANK YOU for your efforts.

To those of you who were going to vote until you got paranoid because “the video site wanted all of my personal information”: it’s 2013, is this really the first time you’ve ever seen that COMMON Facebook login disclaimer that’s there for your convenience?? Furthermore, if you’re fearful of your personal information being misused, why the hell did you ever sign up for FACEBOOK in the first place?

To those of you who couldn’t be bothered to vote: your crotch is going to rot completely off from a severe case of syphilis found only in the lamest and/or laziest of human beings. I hope it’s painful.

Thanks again for putting up with my ’round the clock social network “spamming” and nagging texts. Wish us luck in the next round!


Well, our gross video with incredible boobs NEEDS your votes. Less than 16 hours to go! Help us out, VOTE HERE!*

*UPDATE: the polls are closed.

IMPORTANT Public Service Announcement!

This has absolutely NOTHING to do with voting for our new short film (*)

*UPDATE: the polls are closed.


Our NEW horror/comedy short is out and it NEEDS YOUR VOTES (votes prevent syphilis, gonorrhea and acne!) also, it’ll help us win a contest. Watch and VOTE for us here!*

*UPDATE: the polls are closed.

Sex, Drugs & Violence title sceneSex, Drugs & Violence sock monkey
Sex, Drugs & Violence Sasha n RedSex, Drugs & Violence cliffSex, Drugs & Violence sock monkey axeSex, Drugs & Violence axe death

I attended my first Major League Baseball game last night. Yankees vs Red Sox. I had too much to drink. Barely remember a thing. I woke up with guacamole all over my pants and only three sloppily captured photos on my phone. I studied them intensely, trying with all my might to piece together even a crude memory of the evening.

I couldn’t come up with much, but I’ve concluded that: I was there. I was there. (I need to repeat that until it seems plausible). I was there.

Yes, I was there and, somewhere in my subconscious, under a dense fog of vodka-infused delusion, there’s practical data from the game recorded and properly cataloged. My Aussie mates might’ve carried me to my seat, or propped me up against an aisle railing, or carefully draped my limp body over a puddle of spilled Coors Light…who knows? The only thing I do know is: I was there, at the game–and, in some handicapacity, I’m sure I enjoyed it.

…that, and the Yankees won. Suck a dick, Boston.

A New Low classic logo shirts are back!

Our original shirts are back to commemorate the ten year anniversary of A New Low. Snatch ’em up before they go back into moratorium for another goddamn decade!


Shirts are just $22 and are available in men’s and women’s sizes with a wide array of color choices. Printed on American Apparel Fine Jersey T-shirts, made with 100% fine jersey cotton, combed for softness and comfort.

I Found This Thing (It Looks Just Like a Dick)

“Yetti vs Taem” shirts now available!


The warmth of a friend’s vomit brings joy to our hearts, sunlight to our souls, bile to our crotches, and pleasure to all of life.

This is another fine piece by Alexander Duke (, inspired by one of the most horrific prank videos in the history of mankind and one of our proudest moments here at A New Low, Yetti vs Taem.

Shirts are just $22 and are available in men’s and women’s sizes with a wide array of color choices. Printed on American Apparel Fine Jersey T-shirts, made with 100% fine jersey cotton, combed for softness and comfort.

This video doesn’t exist

Current Mysteries- Halloween Edition

Happy Hallowed Ween boys and ghouls.
Here is a new episode that happens to be rather festive for this time of year.

“Ghosts, We Need To Know If They Do Exist”

-Dr John Holden