IMPORTANT Public Service Announcement!

This has absolutely NOTHING to do with voting for our new short film (http://www.talenthouse.com/creativeinvites/preview/a6bac68a2be26f8c5673d97fae6cc92d/1000?disableRedirect=1-*)

*UPDATE: the polls are closed.

SEX, DRUGS & VIOLENCE

Our NEW horror/comedy short is out and it NEEDS YOUR VOTES (votes prevent syphilis, gonorrhea and acne!) also, it’ll help us win a contest. Watch and VOTE for us here!*

*UPDATE: the polls are closed.

Sex, Drugs & Violence title sceneSex, Drugs & Violence sock monkey
Sex, Drugs & Violence Sasha n RedSex, Drugs & Violence cliffSex, Drugs & Violence sock monkey axeSex, Drugs & Violence axe death

20130703-175522.jpg
I attended my first Major League Baseball game last night. Yankees vs Red Sox. I had too much to drink. Barely remember a thing. I woke up with guacamole all over my pants and only three sloppily captured photos on my phone. I studied them intensely, trying with all my might to piece together even a crude memory of the evening.

I couldn’t come up with much, but I’ve concluded that: I was there. I was there. (I need to repeat that until it seems plausible). I was there.

Yes, I was there and, somewhere in my subconscious, under a dense fog of vodka-infused delusion, there’s practical data from the game recorded and properly cataloged. My Aussie mates might’ve carried me to my seat, or propped me up against an aisle railing, or carefully draped my limp body over a puddle of spilled Coors Light…who knows? The only thing I do know is: I was there, at the game–and, in some handicapacity, I’m sure I enjoyed it.

…that, and the Yankees won. Suck a dick, Boston.

A New Low classic logo shirts are back!

Our original shirts are back to commemorate the ten year anniversary of A New Low. Snatch ’em up before they go back into moratorium for another goddamn decade!

anewlowshirts

Shirts are just $22 and are available in men’s and women’s sizes with a wide array of color choices. Printed on American Apparel Fine Jersey T-shirts, made with 100% fine jersey cotton, combed for softness and comfort.

I Found This Thing (It Looks Just Like a Dick)

“Yetti vs Taem” shirts now available!

YettiVsTaemShirts

The warmth of a friend’s vomit brings joy to our hearts, sunlight to our souls, bile to our crotches, and pleasure to all of life.

This is another fine piece by Alexander Duke (wizardskull.com), inspired by one of the most horrific prank videos in the history of mankind and one of our proudest moments here at A New Low, Yetti vs Taem.

Shirts are just $22 and are available in men’s and women’s sizes with a wide array of color choices. Printed on American Apparel Fine Jersey T-shirts, made with 100% fine jersey cotton, combed for softness and comfort.

Unearthed Merch: ‘A New Low’ Girly Tank Top

While diggin’ through storage in hopes of locating my notebooks of Ricky Martin fan-fiction, I uncovered some rare A New Low gems that I’ll be adding to the site over the coming weeks.

The first is a girly tank top (black, 100% pre-shrunk cotton) proudly displaying the A New Low logo in white print. Morrissey once observed that some girls are bigger than others…and I’m observing that some girls are also shit outta luck, because all we have left is SMALL. (Fret not, our large-breasted and otherwise curvy cohorts…we’ll design a new shirt with a full run of sizes in the near future.)

These were thought to be long out of stock since maybe 2006 and there’s only a short stack of ’em left…so get off your snatch n’ snatch one up before they’re gone forever!

We even have two options for ya. Just click on the one you want n’ get whisked away to our delightful, easy to use checkout page.

1) Just the shirt, as described above, for $15.

2) The shirt, as described above, plus both of our DVDs and two adorable stickers, for $25.

Choose or lose, buckaroos!