Wendy’s Loses Yet Another Legend

After scoring a record number of tardies in an 8 month time period, Eric Thomas Craven, co-founder of “a new low” Enterprises, has suffered the same fate that his partner did back in February. “We’re detecting a patern” says ANL spokesman Todd Pereira, “when Eric and Tony fail to show up for work when they’re scheduled, it apparently makes their employers mad at them.” This is Eric’s first time getting fired this year, you can read all the details on page 1 and 2 of his termination papers.

Are you an employer in the Horseheads area that can offer high pay, full benefits, long poop breaks, and can overlook things like repeated absences, daily tardiness, excessive talking, and on-the-clock masturbation? Contact Eric & Tony here: www.anewlow.net

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