Drew’s New Job / Drew Assaults Fan

Drew was hired at Sam Goody early last week. In a recent undercover investigation, officer Baker of the Horseheads Police Department got to the very bottom of this baffling case. During a press conference late Saturday night, Baker told reporters “on account of the equal oppotunities law, the well known record store was seeking an employee with a mental deficiency. Looks like they found their man.”
In other news, Drew was involved in a minor scuffle with a friend at the local arcade last night. The altercation ensued after his friends illfated decision to interfere with Drews Skee Ball game. Spectators all seemed to agree that Drew’s reaction (an open handed swing to the side of his opponents head) was irrational, but Drew stood by his claim that it was well deserved. What followed was a pathetic display of the little shits impressionable nature as he cloned the arguing style of our very own Travis Moonschein & also prooved his undying coolness by suiting up for the role of the lecturing highschool guidance counselor. Kids, kids, kids…Drew hasn’t the time for your petty gayness, ask for your autograph & leave it at that.

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